I’ve never understood the struggle for those to fully grasp the concept of bullying. You see people committing to a social perspective of anti-bullying amongst peers in the workplace and learning environment, even a fervent ‘speak up’ campaign against inequality in the community.
How come then, is the standard not transferred to the home environment? Growing up I often heard the customary “grow up’, ‘stop being such a baby” and of course “get over it”. These words are still used in my adult life by my closest friends, and even sometimes still by my family (and by myself, regrettably), and I can tell you, they hurt still just as much as they ever did.
Now anyone can tell you that I’m not one to promote myself as an extremely passionate person about, well, anything, but for some reason bullying still lights a fire in the angry part of my body. I can’t help feeling that bullying is the lowest, most inhumane, negative and cruel thing a person can do.
I was never a target for more than a few incidents of bullying through my childhood (both inside and outside the home) but i can assure you that they stick out evermore as sore wounds that may never heal. A couple of choice sentences spoken by my peers that have forever left a gaping hole in my self-esteem.
Unfortunately, being the bullied still does to equate to the feeling you have when you watch loved ones and close ones around you being hurt by others. You can try to help, attempt to insert yourself into situations when you can and even be the person who is there to mend the soul of the victims with kind words of love and support, and sometimes anger and retribution. However, no matter how hard you try the hopelessness of not being strong enough or just enough to be is incomprehensible.
i want to live in a world where love is pure and hatred is insignificant. A time when the cruel misplaced words are stopped before being spoken, and negativity is diminished through the acceptance and open mindedness of every individual.
I read a quote recently, by Dr. Thomas L. Garthwaite that reads like this:
"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel"
This quote, this particular little quote has changed my world and how I perceive it. I have always been the type of person who has the attitude that if someone is horrible enough to say something bad about me, let it be on them because I don’t care. To tell you the truth i didn’t care, or at least that is what I told myself. See my attitude is one half of a whole, yes, I shouldn’t care what people think of me, their opinion IS insignificant to my self-worth and the path i’m on. However, after reading this quote i have begun to rethink this position as incomplete, or without closure. Perhaps none can deter me or my stability, but that does not mean that I have to ignore it.
It has come to my attention that apparently the bigger person walks away, but from this I’ve never witnessed change, learning or healing. So maybe the bigger person is the one who confronts the situation and demands respect. In saying that, violence is never the answer to any question or challenge and I don’t care for the justification. No, I believe that if someone has the nerve to insult me or ridicule me, that I am therefore entitled to an apology.
To all the people out there that scoff at this or maybe the aforementioned stock standard lines, let me just say that there is nothing more empowering than confronting a mean-spirited person and making them take responsibility for their actions.
By facing the issue and showing respect for yourself, the situation is turned from a one-sided insult or thoughtless sentence, into a learning curve. I mean, if you were faced by that girl you just sniggered at and asked for an apology, how would YOU FEEL? How humbling for you. How dignified of the victim.
So next time you go to say something that you may regret, or could be interpreted incorrectly, be sure to prepare the apology that you should be saying after. Every person deserves respect at every level, and if you can’t fathom yourself making a sincere apology, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut.